Ailee Addresses The Hate She Got For Being “Overweight” And How It Changed Her

It actually led to the release of a 2019 masterpiece.

The land of K-Pop is a brutal one. Standards are high; A vocalist is expected to sing well, of course, but also look good and be slim. Against these standards, soloist Ailee struggled—as she shared in the latest episode of “BYOB” on the JohnMaat YouTube channel.

Ailee | @aileeonline/Instagram

When asked if she has a song of her own she loves more than others, Ailee noted, “There is one in particular that means a lot” to her.

Time flows the same for everyone. Eventually, everything will be forgotten. But this song I’m singing now will remain. Wherever it flows, it’ll go and it’ll remind them of me. I’m not a perfect woman, but I like being my unpretentious self. The stories I’ve cherished in my heart, I’ll share them without hiding anymore. I’ll shed the burdens that weighed me down and fly free. Now, see me for who I am. Can’t you see? Ain’t that pretty.

— Ailee’s “Ain’t That Pretty”

According to her, “Ain’t That Pretty,” co-written and released in 2019, came when she was “going through depression.” It was rooted in her struggle with weight loss and the subsequent struggle with performing.

Ailee in a 2015 pictorial for GQ Korea | GQ Korea

I couldn’t figure out if I should just continue singing, even if I’m a little overweight and just… Because all my songs are very high key, in the high range. And I also dance at the same time. So I need a lot of energy when I’m on stage. But when I was really skinny, I was using my, like, actual throat to sing because I had no energy coming from my core. So, I had vocal nodules. Yeah, so I trained myself without having any surgery to get better.

— Ailee

After realizing she doesn’t need to follow someone else’s standards, Ailee wrote the song…

Here’s Why Ailee Was Criticized for Her Weight Even After Her Most Dramatic Weight Loss

But then people were like, ‘Oh, now she’s gaining weight again,’ or ‘She should lose weight,’ or ‘No, I liked her when she was a little chubbier.’ They were going back and forth and I was kind of getting confused. So, I felt like I needed to actually just stick to one. And I came to the decision where I don’t want to be someone who follows someone else’s beauty standard. I want to make my own beauty standard and just do what I enjoy. So, I decided to do that, and I wrote this song called, ‘Ain’t That Pretty,’ which is about me when I, like, used to look at myself in the mirror. I would always cry. Why can’t I be, like, skinny and sing well?

— Ailee

…and, admitting that she still fights the urge to fit herself into other standards, she explained how she still relies on her own message in the song to ground her.

Those kinds of emotions that I went through are in that song. So, it’s the song that I always go to when I’m kind of unsure of myself again… because I am human. Even though, like, I decided to, you know, say, ‘OK, I’m not going to follow anyone’s standards anymore,’ sometimes I’ll, like, go, ‘Oh, what about this one?’ And then I’ll be like, ‘No, no. Focus. Be you.’ You know? So… That is precious to me.

— Ailee

Upon hearing about the song’s background, show hosts Brian from Fly To The Sky and Joon Park from god both comforted Ailee, reassuring her that she is beautiful and more than enough just the way she is.

If you go by all these people that are haters, that are saying these things because they have no happiness in their lives, and they have to get their stress relief by giving it on to someone else… Then you’re listening to advice that’s zero. Right? I’m glad that you guys are here, healthy. Don’t listen to that sh*t.

— Joon Park

In the same episode, Ailee shared romantic details about how she and her Single’s Inferno star fiancé Choi Si Hoon met and began dating. Read more:

The When, Where, And How: Ailee Tells All About Her Engagement To “Single’s Inferno” Star Fiancé