Kpopalypse roundup – new k-pop releases 5/5/2025

It’s time for Kpopalypse roundup! Let’s take a look at some new releases!

Just letting you know that Fantasy Boys have been going through some (typically k-pop style) hard times latel. Now you won’t have to type their group name into a search engine to find out about it, aren’t you grateful.

FIFTY FIFTY – Pookie

Definitely on the lower end of Fifty Fifty songs quality-wise, but Fifty Fifty are pretty consistent so it’s still listenable enough. It’ll do while we wait for Attrakt to pull their fingers out and give us a video for “Perfect Crime“… which I’m sure is coming any minute, right? Right…?

KATSEYE – Gnarly

Shades of Nada’s “Trippin” in the abrasiveness of the rhythms, which is definitely a good thing, if only the song didn’t waste those amazing sonic textures by being so fucking slow and dragging. This could have been a song of the year contender if it had just a little bit more pace on it, as it is right now it’s still fairly addictive but mainly for the sounds they’re using rather than what anyone chose to do with them.

Maroon 5 feat. Lisa – Priceless

Maroon5 are boring musically with or without Lisa in tow, as this just sounds like any other song of theirs. The video is worth a look though just because Lisa has never looked better.

Hyuna – Mrs. Nail

Remember a decade ago when Hyuna had actual songs? Ah, those were the days.

YOUNG POSSE – Blue Dot

The two or so bars of this where they decided to switch the Autotune off are actually pretty decent, pity about the other 98% of the song. Eric Reprid gets away with this type of nonsense because the soft shitty Autotune is the perfect foil for his type of lyrical content, for anyone else just use your real voice, or better yet, don’t rap at all.

LE SSERAFIM – Crazier

Bland “for the fans” junk, what use is a Skinner box when the pellets it dispenses don’t even taste any good.

TXT – Love Language

2:39 you’re welcome.

RIIZE – Bag Bad Back

It’s shameful that this has a relatively good backing track compared to a lot of actual hip-hop these days. I’m not sure if RIIZE should be proud or everyone else should just be fucking embarrassed. What the fuck are rappers even doing in 2025 besides sucking their cousin’s dicks, this I ask you.

TRENDZ – Chameleon

An apt song title because this tune really does just blend into the background of all the other nonsense that’s been released this year.

ONEUS – Time Machine

Oneus’s take on yacht rock is actually pretty good and weirdly slightly better than 015B’s 57 versions of the same thing.

&TEAM – Kochiru

What is it about Coca Cola endorsements that brings out the very worst in k-pop groups. This is not a rhetorical question, I’d really like to know the answer to this.

Davichi – A Song for You

Finally, a song for me? Maybe not, but perhaps the fashions are for me. The Davichi girls age like fine wine, even if they haven’t been able to escape ballad hell since their second album in 1863.

UDTT – Really Really

This song isn’t too bad and would have been a lot better if it didn’t have awkward time-signature changes in the pre-chorus. K-pop fans have enough trouble counting as it is!

ILY:1 – Secret Recipe

When k-pop girls break out the baking videos you know that there’s always something sinister afoot. Expect controversy soon.

MVP feat. E SENS – Clock It

Instead of clocking this, let’s clock some actual good music and have our weekly non-Korean LGBT feature here instead, yay! Hey, guess which member of “nu-metal before nu-metal existed” rock band Faith No More is gay? If you guessed keyboard player Roddy Bottum, you guessed correctly! Enjoy “Be Aggressive”, his song about sucking men’s cocks that he allegedly delighted in getting his straight bandmates to sing along to.

CATCH THE YOUNG – The Young Wave

A kind of silly instrumental song which obviously exists for live concert use so each member can have a little bit of sectioned-off time to demonstrate that they can actually play fairly well when they’re not being forced to do undemanding pop songs. Still, there’s not much actual value in it for anyone sensible beyond it being a nice break during the concert where you can go to the toilet.

Sikkoo – Bangatgan

A cute but really kind of nothingy song, I like it how they drop Jay Park’s name in there and try to make it look random and casual and “fun” when it’s obviously just because he’s on the same label and there’s probably some contractual condition where they have to either feature Jay in their songs or at least remind their audience that he exists.

YOUNITE (Hyungseok, DEY, Kyungmun) – Who’s Next?

Younite have three different “subunit” songs this week and they all suck about equally so in the interest of making roundup load faster for those who keep complaining about that, I’ll just feature one song here and tell you that all three of them are worthless bullshit.

Mitty – Stuffy Driver

An incredibly unlikeable Rhodes-bullshit style song but decent fashions in the video kept my attention. Hey I’m trying to look on the positive side here.

Jang Haneum – Shine

Not amazing but the old-school style (i.e not jumping back and forth between five different styles just because it can) is appealing.

Anode feat. Moon Sua – Keep It Raw

Supposedly Moon Sua from Billlie is in this nonsense but you wouldn’t know it because she’s only in it for about five seconds. It doesn’t help anyway.

NOWIMYOUNG feat. Sik-K – AH AH

2010 BigBang, the aliexpress version.

SEFO, POY, LOKI feat. Boombeat – Choo Choo Boom

Okay, what the fuck. Let’s just leave roundup here for the good of humanity before it gets even worse.

Rockit Girl – Through The Pain

But wait… Rockit Girl are back to save roundup once again! Okay the AI transitions are a bit shit but everyone’s using that disgusting crap now so why not Rockit Girt too I suppose. If I’m going to destroy the planet I might as well do it while rocking out.

RANDOM BONUS VIDEOS OF THE WEEK

Xiwang Kpop Tea – NMIXX Lily Said WHAT?! Her Savage Response Went Viral!

Imagine trying to get a k-pop singer to sing off-key on purpose, just so you can make an evil edit “Boram’s umbrella” style. Fortunately Lily is smart enough to see through something like that instantly. The worst thing about Korean pop music is, always has been, and probably always will be its fans…

Xiwang Kpop Tea – I’m Being Silenced by Toxic Fans… I Need Your HELP

…wait, what was that about k-pop fans? They’re pieces of shit? Oh yes. We were all well aware. Every k-pop content creator always finds this out eventually.

Nafla – Wu

Nafla’s weak version of a Wu-Tang inspired rap track is dull as dishwater compared to what it’s inspired by, but it’s still a lot better than rap music in general in 2025. We didn’t know how good we had it.

That’s all for this week! Kpopalypse roundup returns next week!