Song Review: Fifty Fifty – Skittlez

Though I would prefer to fall in love with every song I ever hear, sometimes it’s fun to have songs you hate as well. It’s like an arch-nemesis designed to irk you at every turn. In a strange way, I have a special fondness for music that ranks below a “5” rating on this blog. That doesn’t mean I ever want to listen to it again, but I can admire its sheer stank from a safe distance.

Today, Fifty Fifty’s Skittlez joins this illustrious club. The song has been available for a few days now and I assumed I’d simply be able to ignore it as a b-side. However, the agency has deemed it notable enough for a music video, so here I am writing about this mess. Honestly, from the spelling of the title alone I could have told you Skittlez would not be for me. I love Skittles with an “s” (the blue bag is my favorite), but I do not need a song about them — not that “skittlez” isn’t just a creepy euphemism for… something else.

Skittlez knows my weaknesses well. It frames itself around an irritating sing-song, nursery rhyme hook and throws a lifeless beat behind it with muted carnival house synths that sound like demented clown whistles. (Fun fact: my fingers subconsciously typed the word “shit” instead of “whistles.” I can’t imagine how that might have happened…) By the time Skittlez wraps up with a lethargic “la la la” chant I’m convinced Fifty Fifty are just pointing and laughing at us all. Silly K-pop fans, you will just lap up any old thing we give you, won’t you?

Grade: F