Kpopalypse Nugu Alert Episode 89 – Chae Eunjung ft. IK Brothers, Kejimin, JA!L ft. MAZ.B, A Nameless Lowly Sinner

It has been noted that Kpopalypse.com has been increasing in popularity lately. This of course won’t do, so let’s bring back the longest running series on Kpopalypse that nobody actually reads because they’re too busy scouring this site for literally everything else (mainly the boobs posts), that’s right, it’s the return of Kpopalypse Nugu Alert!

You may or may not have noticed, but I’ve been collecting very important votes for the Kpopalypse 2025 Objectification Survey so I can give you the most accurate data possible on the most attractive men and women of k-pop today. The survey is still open for votes at the time of writing, so make sure to CLICK HERE and cast your votes while there’s still time if you haven’t yet done so… and if you already have, thank you very much, you’re awesome – expect the results soon, when I get enough votes! However, what if you want to vote, but you haven’t yet because you’re just not sure who to vote for? Maybe you want to support someone who isn’t so popular, instead of those same three idols that everybody else likes. That’s where this edition of Kpopalypse Nugu Alert comes in, where we look at some objectification-friendly nugus for this episode! It’s kind of hard to believe that these people even are so nugu given the amount of eye candy on offer in their music videos, but somehow everyone’s sleeping on this stuff. Just as well that you’ve got Kpopalypse here to give you a helping hand finding this content or you’d just be stuck replaying Eunbi at Waterbomb over and over… which might not be such a bad thing but I digress…

Usual Kpopalypse Nugu Alert rules apply, artists must meet the following criteria:

• Less than 20,000 views across official channels actually let’s make it less than 5000 views, this is Kpopalypse.com where we are in it for the nugus NOT the clicks and engagement, fuck that shit
• Unlikely to be invited to Waterbomb even if they offered to do the event for free and wear even less than [insert your bias here]
• Relevant to Kpopalypse

Let’s take a look!

Chae Eunjung ft. IK Brothers – Paradise

In these conservative days, a lot of k-pop idol fans are worried about too much skin exposure in their faves’ videos. They’ve certainly got their work cut out for them worrying about Chae Eunjung, if only they knew who she was. She’s someone who isn’t afraid to flaunt her beach body everywhere she goes in “Paradise”, which basically is the beach, and… a boat on the beach, and some roads by the beach, and a cafe by the beach, and you get the idea. The “yacht rock” music is pretty bland, although it does have a neat guitar solo plus some rappers who do their best to liven it up, but it’s all really just a bit of a sonic backdrop for Chae Eunjung letting you know that she hasn’t been neglecting her core exercises at the gym. All those people who keep complaining “why can’t I vote for female abs in the Kpopalypse Objectification Survey” might want to throw their votes down for Chae Eunjung, if I see some votes for her come through after this post goes live I’ll definitely assume that those are female abs votes from the three people who actually read this far into a Nugu Alert review.

YouTube views at the time of writing: 3206

Notable attribute: 1:53 mrds and also the cutest seashell dwelling creature you’ve seen in a music video not long after

Nugu Alert Rating: very high

Kejimin – Neko Neko

There’s not a lot I can really say about Kejimin that isn’t self-evident, and most of it just boils down to the fact that she looks great and has excellent fashion sense. The outfits here are really outstanding, very well chosen with each one complementing her face and body type perfectly. The video itself is kind of ugly apart from this though, with distracting colours all round that really detract from what they got right about Kejimin herself, and the bizarrely high amount of branded products on display has Wesley Willis “if I advertise random things enough, maybe someone will hire me to do it one day” energy. There’s also some weird filters applied to make it look ‘sparkly’ but it just looks like someone didn’t clean the camera lens, and that’s nothing compared to the filters applied to Kejimin’s face, which you can see working extra hard to smooth those lines at 0:48, I’m pretty sure someone’s graphics card melted while making this video. The song in this case is total garbage too, a tired “latin” thing which is even more of an earsore than usual, definitely one of the worst ever songs to feature in this series. But hey at least Kejimin has a great body and knows how to dress, and for this particular Nugu Alert, that goes a long way. This appears to be her debut so here’s hoping we see her in at least one other thing before her dream of k-pop stardom gives way to her getting her barista certificate or whatever it is she ends up doing after this.

YouTube views at the time of writing: 1718

Notable attribute: note hanging on a full two seconds after the singer has closed her mouth at 1:10 has to be eligible for some kind of bad lipsync award

Nugu Alert Rating: very high

JA!L ft. MAZ.B – Icy

Ja!l might not be well-known, but she does know some well-known people, not that it’s helping her career much so far. Her other song with Rosy Barbie who Kpopalypse readers probably have heard of thanks to Rosy Barbie also working with Ash B, doesn’t have all that many more views than this one, which seems pretty crazy given that Rosy Barbie is hardly unknown. To maintain that low a viewcount Ja!l is definitely someone with the blood of the nugu running through her veins. Maybe it’s that annoying-as-fuck-to-type name of hers that’s holding her back, or perhaps it’s Maz.B’s equally annoying Autotuned rap, because I don’t see what else it is… I mean yeah sure this type of music doesn’t require an abundance of talent but since when has that ever stopped anyone doing it from hitting the charts. It’s certainly not her appearance letting her down either because she looks great here (unfortunate thumbnail notwithstanding), and just as much so in the other “visualiser” version she made which is just one of those “model photoshoot disguised as a music video” things… oh and if you like a more romantic vibe, she does that, too. If this is all too nugu for you though, just imagine Karina wearing these outfits, just saying because I think the two have similar body types, Ja!l just flaunts it a little more. She’s paving the way.

YouTube views at the time of writing: 675

Notable attribute: Beret-wearing girl at 1:54 just wants to get in her apartment without being in someone else’s rap video, no such luck

Nugu Alert Rating: very high

A Nameless Lowly Sinner – Jesus on the Beach

So right now about 50% of you reading this are probably thinking “but Kpopalypse what about the guys? I want to fap to some men, this post isn’t all about the ladies is it? I knew it, you SEXIST” and the other 50% of you are probably thinking “holy shit the loser who writes this Nugu Alert shit really needs to find Jesus”. Well as it happens this video should cater to both of your wishes, because here we have a Jesus freak who is more than willing to keep everyone happy by serving the fapgods a little on the side. The large amounts of skin exposure isn’t the only thing unusual here for a christian song, the music is some weird and very unholy jazz-meets-rap thing, and it even has a little YG Teddy-style “jump the shark after the second chorus and then just end, fuck it” finishing move. Unfortunately there are no sharks in the video to jump, and no Jesus on the beach either, so visually it’s a lot less interesting than it could have been, but at least we have the artist’s abs fully on display at pretty much all times. You’d better appreciate it and give him some votes, man-flesh is the lord’s creation after all.

YouTube views at the time of writing: 69

Notable attribute: at 2:08 the reflection of the person shooting the video on his phone is visible in the singer’s sunglasses… and even though he’s only in knee-deep water he’s wearing a life jacket! I guess he really didn’t feel like a shark, chiki chika chu

Nugu Alert Rating: extreme

That’s all for this episode of Kpopalypse Nugu Alert – the series will return! In the meantime don’t forget to vote the Kpopalypse 2025 Objectification Survey! Stay safe, caonimas!