Kpopalypse roundup – new k-pop releases 7/10/2024

It’s time for Kpopalypse roundup! Let’s take a look at some new releases!

Why is it that ugly-ass photos of idols like this one of Taeil only come to light after they’ve been charged with some horrible crime?

KISS OF LIFE – R.E.M

I’d make some joke about their careers needing a ‘kiss of life’ after this blandness, but we all know that’s not true – Korea loves bullshit like this. Kiss Of Life are going to be huge, probably.

ATEEZ – Birthday

Some really cool sounds here but not much in the way of melody, plus badly infected with a case of the change-ups.

Yuta – Off The Mask

Appealingly heavy in the kind of way that Dreamcatcher aren’t these days, but again the tune isn’t very engaging.

APOKI – Super Duper Ride

Remember that time last year where Apoki scooped up not one but two places on the Kpopalypse favourites list? Well I don’t think we’re going to be getting a repeat of that this time around, just saying.

Lee Eunmee, Chungha – Move Remove

I’ll go for “remove”, thanks.

Key – Overthink

Weird and trippy beats and sonics, but definitely not as good as recent Key bangers, as once again the chorus is lacking. It really is a dud week for the A-listers this week…

ONF – Summer End

Don’t get excited, it’s just the usual “special video” nonsense.

Hwasa – O

No, really. Everyone is dreary this week. I don’t even have anything snarky to say because I’m just so fucking bored.

Ailee – Stronger

At least Ailee looks great, although I suppose it’s not politically correct to say that so I have to say “unbothered visual queen” or whatever even though they mean exactly the same fucking thing. Pity this is just some dogshit song for some ad (you can kind of tell it sucks just from her dewey-eyed stare in the thumbnail) but all I really ask of an Ailee video these days is that it has Ailee in it, and this delivers.

The Wind – Hello, My First Love

Possibly Bfriend sorry I mean The Wind’s best song yet, as they chase a childless cat lady around in traditional k-pop street harassment video style. Apparently if you put a seashell in Korea up to your ear and listen hard you can hear the echoes of distant lawsuits.

3piece – Light Up

I thought “Summer Feeling” was quite okay, or at least not awful, but this follow up is just the usual brassy bullshit we got tired of Sistar doing a decade ago.

TIOT – The Long Season

Okay, this one’s pretty good, even if it comes with a curiously boring-ass music video where everyone just sits around and reads books in dimly-lit rooms and strains their eyes a lot.

ASC2NT – Sweet Devil

Riff-driven k-pop done right. At least we can rely on the C-list groups this week, good work Asc-two-nt, maybe change your name though because that’s even harder to pronounce than Kep-one-er.

Q.IX – Dear

My song submitter tells me that this is their disbandment song, but even if I wasn’t told that, I think I would have been able to guess anyway just by the way they’re smiling. Those are the genuine smiles of “oh thank fucking god it’s the last time I have to do this bullshit, it’ll all be over soon”, not the fake smiles you’re used to seeing from the k-pop realm. Treasure this rare moment.

Lee Mujin – Coming Of Age Story

There’s not much I can even think of to say about this song so this is just a reminder that the latest Kpopalypse survey is still live at the time of writing so do it if you can! Yolu can do it by CLICKING HERE so get on it, caonimas, and have your say on important issues in k-pop today! (Disclaimer: importance of issues not guaranteed.)

20WAVE – Boomerang

Oh it’s just too silly to hate on. Do your thing kids, just drive the rental car back to the dealership safely and don’t stain the seats or leave fast food wrappers in the back thank you.

Sphaze – Starlight

Oh no, it’s another one.

Bryn – Plug It, Charge It, Work It

Bryn isn’t sounding bad these days, who knew? I’m more inclined to plug in, charge and work my device if there’s decent songs on it.

Lee Changsub – 33

Yeah this guy from BTOB did a thing and it’s more of a k-drama than anything else. Not the good kind of k-drama though.

Peniel feat. Junny – Daydream

Okay the Peniel song was balls so instead let’s have our weekly Asian but not Korean not pop not world music feature here instead. This time we have a death metal/grindcore group from Pakistan called Multinational Corporations. I can definitely hear the Celtic Frost influence in their sound which is definitely up my alley as far as metal goes, and the anti-colonialism lyrics are a nice touch (and very much keeping with genre tradition too). This is a new song of theirs (check out some old stuff here, which is more in the Napalm Death grind style and also brilliant), this group have been around for while but are recently back after a ten-year hiatus, which means there’s hope for After School yet! 

Yang Yoseop – More than everything

Back to k-pop and it’s not looking good, folks.

Woosung – 44 (Forget Forever)

Starts off horrible but actually not that bad once it perks up a little, although at five minutes long it’s kind of overstaying its welcome a bit. I feel like if they chopped the first one and a half minutes out of the song it would have improved it a lot.

Loco – See You

Loco goes for the big power rock ballad which is something I really didn’t expect from him. Maybe he’s missing Hyomin, who can blame him.

Kim Seungjoo – City404

This video has a 404 Correct Microphone Technique Not Found error.

Min Jiwoon – Sentimental Love

This girl is on SM Entertainment, and I’m not really into this song but she seems like she knows what she’s doing as much as anyone else on that label. So why isn’t she getting the big marketing push? Why doesn’t she have her own AI version of herself, and some lore about how she came here from the do-rag planet to elevate our style or whatever. SM’s promotional team really dropping the ball on this poor girl.

Wildberry – Castaway

Interesting that the URL for the YouTube link spells out the world “tune” just by coincidence, because that’s the only place here that I found one.

FISTBUMP – End of Summer

Shit song but I might hang onto this video just for the sake of showing fairly realistic recording studio footage, just in case the music theory series needs to revisit that stuff again.

Jessi – Boomerang

People have been messaging me for weeks “hey Mr Kpopalyspe kind sir, I know you say all OST songs are shit and they’re not eligible for roundup, but I think I found a good one, listen to it pretty please and maybe you can make an exception please kind sir” and I did and hey they were right, this kicks ass. Now stop calling me sir because I’m Australian and it’s disrespectful to do that here, I answer to “cunt” or “him, officer” only.

RANDOM BONUS VIDEOS OF THE WEEK

all-kulture – How Jessica overcame 30th September and the blacklist

This recap of Jessica’s breakoff from Girls’ Generation and the various activities afterward has been popping up constantly in my recommends, and while it probably won’t tell veteran readers anything they don’t already know, it might be usedful for k-pop newcomers who missed the SNSD hype train, just to see why Jessica was so important. It’s also good to see that the YouTube algorithm likes Rachel Kim because it means SM’s tentacles of “external forces” haven’t reached YouTube staff yet. Skip to 11:28 if you want to read the part where they discuss her books, which are basically just like mine but without the sex, violence, drug use, swearing, organised crime, extreme dieting, LGBT content and Youngsook being called a beached whale.

Le Sserafim in the studio

HYBE, to you, the k-pop fan: “Look, their vocals might suck ass but look how hard they’re working in the studio! They’re very determined and hard working! We promise we probably didn’t pitch-correct them or use ghost singers later! You can’t hate on them, see, see? Now fall in love with them you fucking cunts and forget about that NewJeans group for fuck’s sake, we’re trying to run a business without Min Hee Jin here.”

Jaejoong – Mine

It’s good that Jaejoong explored some heaviness but the vocals are either annoyingly whiny, or just that silly warbly Visual Kei thing. You’re supposed to sound powerful and in control when singing this kind of music, not like you just stubbed your toe on a LOVE SHAKE.

That’s all for this week! Kpopalypse roundup returns next week!